She's JV to your varsity
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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