the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
