My first STD was from a foam party
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
