thus making me awesome and them whores
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Houston, we have a blender
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
