Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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