Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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