What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
worst night to have a conscience
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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