so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
