Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
