the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
