We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize