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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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