Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
