your thong is hanging out like whoa
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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