Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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