i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
