I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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