My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
