Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
NoShamevember. You game?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
