Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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