I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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