Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
