were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
