I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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