guys are not supposed to queef...right?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
