Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
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