It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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