Your mouth is God's brothel.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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