Kiss
Puke
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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