My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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