We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
