Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
