so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
my shit smells like andre
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
