i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
