forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
