whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
