You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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