Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Randomize