I look better un-naked...
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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