she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
