is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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