I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
