I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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