I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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