Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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