ya dads aren't the best wingmen
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
