Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
