YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
