I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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