from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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