Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
