So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
