I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Someone came in the potted fern
Randomize
