I got her a Nickelback box set.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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