Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
