Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
