Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
It's blow job season.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize