worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
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