I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
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