U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
