Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
