lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
