I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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